Radical Avenue

Categories matter. That’s good news to undecided voters. According to the network Super Tuesday election coverage, you need only identify your designated slot to understand how you should vote. It’s like reading the bar codes from a warehouse full of boxed widgets. Here is a breakdown of the news coverage breakdown.

Gender
Hillary Clinton has a clear advantage in this election because of her popularity among women. Everybody knows that women live longer and that more women vote. Of course Barack Obama consistently wins a higher percentage of the men’s vote than Hillary wins among women.

In a general election, more men vote Republican and Republican women may not support Hillary, but if she wins over Obama’s men it would all even out. Clearly gender alone will not determine the outcome of this election.

Age
Older voters also choose Hillary, which must put a twinkle in her eye. We’ve all heard that kids never make it to the polls. Now in some of the early primaries and caucuses young voters turned out in record numbers for Barack Obama. But surely that won’t last. Isn’t it time for Spring Break?

Voters over 60 might prefer John McCain in November however. McCain would be one of the oldest presidents in our history. Of course that would leave voters under 30 up for grabs. You really can’t look at age and gender alone to understand how people will vote.

Religion
Evangelical Christians from the South love Mike Huckabee, while Mountain West Mormons are fond of Mitt Romney. John McCain enjoys modest support from both religious and non-religious voters. Put those two groups together and McCain has just enough to win the nomination.

Buddhists appreciate Huckabee’s spirituality, but think McCain’s the guy to go over and kick some butt in Burma. But religion, age and gender alone will not decide this presidential race.

Hair Color
Hillary’s golden tresses will help her with young voters in the coastal states. Nevertheless, most middle class voters have dark hair, so they’ll identify with Obama.

And don’t forget McCain. His whitish/gray locks practically guarantee him a win in Florida.

Race
Barack Obama carries African American voters from the Southeast. Hillary appeals to Hispanics from the Southwest. As it turns out, you really need to look at race, religion, orientation, gender, age, disposition, hair color, education and socio-economic status to learn how someone might vote.

Hillary did win at the caucuses in American Samoa on Tuesday. The all important Polynesian American vote might be just enough to put her over the top…

Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, John McCain, Super Tuesday