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Apology Translations

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mark_sanfordApology: After weeks of soul searching and frank discussions with my friends and family, I have decided to come forward and speak with you in the media today. I still believe in the sanctity of marriage and family values. However I have always been completely honest with all of you and I must therefore report that a relationship which started quite innocently grew completely out of control and has begun to cause turmoil in my marriage. I have been unfaithful to my wife.
Translation: Those sneaky reporters caught me with my pants down at the airport.

Apology: I want to first apologize to my wife Judy, who has always been by my side through thick and thin. I know that I must work hard to regain your trust.
Translation: My wife has offered to surgically remove my cajones.

Apology: I must also apologize to my three wonderful children; Jeremy, age 11, who loves to play soccer in the back yard, Jimmy, age 7, who gets taller every day, and of course, little Jessica, age 3.
Translation: My kids think I’m a jerk.

Apology: I plan on continuing to serve the good people of this state to the best of my abilities.
Translation: I need to serve out my term in order to collect a full pension.

Apology: I would also like to apologize to my dog Sparky.
Translation: ???

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Posted in Humor on June 30th, 2009

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One Response to “Apology Translations”

  1. translation services Says:
    July 8th, 2010 at 5:23 pm

    I consider your post is worthy of note, but I won’t thoroughly be in agreement with you. I expect you will give furher facts.

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