Gaffapalooza Tour Headed to Your Town
When did Mitt Romney become a pretzel? He’s always absurdly twisting his words to impress cultural conservatives and ending up tied in a knot. Here are few bloopers from the highlight reel.
December 17, 2007 - Romney Slams Huck with Rubber Chicken
The former governor of Massachusetts is peeved over an article Mike Huckabee wrote for the January/February 2008 issue of Foreign Affairs magazine. In the article, Huckabee said that “American foreign policy needs to change its tone and attitude, open up, and reach out.”
“The Bush administration’s arrogant bunker mentality has been counterproductive at home and abroad,” Huckabee wrote. “My administration will recognize that the United States’ main fight today does not pit us against the world but pits the world against the terrorists.” Mitt thinks Huck should apologize for the editorial on Bush.
Straight Line: Former Governor Huckabee is dead on in his assessment of Bush’s foreign policy of course, but Romney likes to stand up for GW.
December 7, 2007 - Freedom Requires Religion
At a speech to the faithful earlier this month, Romney proclaimed that “Freedom requires religion”. Here comes that rainy day feeling again for Atheists and Agnostics.
Straight Line: Romney desperately needs to have evangelical Christian voters in his camp.
October 16, 2007 – Lawyers Decide on War
Asked if he would obtain congressional authorization before taking any military action against Iran’s nuclear facilities, Romney said, “You sit down with your attorneys and they tell you what you have to do, but obviously the president of the United States has to do what’s in the best interest of the United States to protect us against a potential threat.”
You sit down with your attorneys? I guess all of that time in divorce court teaches lawyers everything they need to know about mortal combat.
Straight Line: Although Article 1 of the Constitution says that Congress shall have the power to declare war, Romney likes to look decisive. He would never bother to ask members of Congress for approval before invading another country, especially not Congressional Democrats.
August 8, 2007 – Young Romneys No Help to Uncle Sam
When the former Massachusetts Governor was forced to explain why none of his five sons were serving in Iraq, he responded “Well, the good news is that we have a volunteer army and that’s the way we’re going to keep it.”
Then he continued “One of the ways my sons are showing support for our nation is helping me get elected because they think I’d be a great president.” Yes, the nation certainly owes the Romney clan a tremendous debt of gratitude for their patriotic service to country on the highways of Iowa.
Straight Line: The Romney boys aren’t in Iraq because they don’t want to get their heads blown off. Mitt hates awkward questions like that.
April 5, 2007 - Romney Hunts Varmints
Mr. Romney had this to say about his youthful pursuits: “I’ve always been a rodent and rabbit hunter. Small varmints, if you will.”
Straight Line: Romney’s no hunter, but he plays one on TV.
Mitt Romney, Romney, presidential election, Republicans, varmints, critters
December 22nd, 2007 at 5:39 am
[…] Romney has responded by going medieval on Huckabee over everything from pardons to immigration. The Romney campaign shows no signs of backing off during the holiday season either. Bah, […]
December 26th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
[…] are, of course, par for the course amongst all members of the homo politicus species, but some of Mitt’s mindshifts are pretty radical indeed, particularly regarding issues that any self-respecting Republican would […]