Growing Up With Abuse
Before getting into this topic, I want to make one thing clear. I do not speak from experience. I grew up in a nurturing home with two parents who worked hard every day to give myself and my siblings the chance to enjoy happy, productive lives. I was one of the lucky ones. But domestic violence creates a tremendous burden on our society here in America. There’s plenty of opportunity for positive change and that’s why I talk about it. Also, as I’ve mentioned, October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and the bloggers of 451 Press have been writing extensively on this subject.
In reading interviews with people who’ve grown up in abusive homes, I’m struck by how often these individuals say that the only time their father paid any attention to them was when he was abusing them. In other words, these kids only got what they interpreted as love during a violent encounter. So they came to associate abuse with affection. It’s no wonder that they have scars which last a lifetime. When children suffer from sexual abuse, it’s even more toxic.
I fear that we sometimes overlook the obvious when it comes to identifying the causes of deviant behavior. Children take about 18 years to develop into adults. Kids who grow up in a nurturing environment adjust to adult life far more easily than do kids who grow up in an abusive home. If we want to tackle problems like drug addiction and violent crime, we should start by getting kids out of abusive environments and into settings where they are not living in constant fear.
There is such a stigma attached to sexual abuse that no one wants to talk about it; not the victims and certainly not the perpetrators. But we can’t solve the problem without acknowledging it exists. Abusers don’t just wake up one day and say, OK today I’m going to assault someone. Domestic violence tends to escalate over time. It follows a predictable pattern. Personally, I would much rather see perpetrators of abuse get counseling and therapy in an isolated setting before the violence escalates. Too often, we wait around until after a serious assault occurs, then we throw the abuser in prison for life. But at that point it’s already too late for the victims.
KD Griffin on Watching CSI has a post up about CSI’s partnership with CASA. CASA stands for Court Appointed Special Advocates.
Here are links to organizations that help domestic violence victims:
End Abuse website
National Coalition Against Domestic Violence website
Violence Against Women Online Resources
See it and Stop it Resources for Teens
RAINN - Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network
Here is a list of 451 Press blogs discussing the problem of domestic violence:
Her Daily News
About San Jose, CA
Home Computer Talk
Earthly Garden
Watching Bionic Woman
Watching Battlestar Gallactica
Limited Edition Foods
1P Start
Astrology Explored
About Honolulu, HI
Parenting and Religion
Marital Talk
October 5th, 2007 at 2:16 am
[...] in October as my friend Doug Robertson has noted on Current Events Watch. I’ve been discussing Domestic Violence for the past couple of days, but October is also Breast Cancer Awareness month. Breast cancer [...]
October 5th, 2007 at 6:12 am
[...] Bob Betzen of Radical Avenue talks about abuse and parental failure in this post [...]
June 3rd, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Domestic violence is very common these days, but due to stress is that people are submitting this for many reasons. Although there are fewer reasons such as ignorance. But I think that growing up with domestic abuse to the person changing their way of being and not for good