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Holy Scripture According to Republicans

by Bob Betzen

Ronald_Reagan_wearing_cowboy_hat_1.jpgAnd having seen and understood the Word of the Gipper, John McCain descended from the top of Capitol Hill and spoke these words:

1. I am the presidential nominee of the Republican Party, which has brought thee out of the land of winner take all primaries. Thou shalt have no other deities before Ronald Reagan.

2. Thou shalt not take the name of Ronald Reagan in vain.

3. Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image of Ronald Reagan, or any unpleasant likeness of anything that is associated with Ronald Reagan. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to anyone but Ronald Reagan, nor serve any cause higher than exalting in the conservative mantra of Ronald Reagan.

4. Remember Ronald Reagan’s birthday, to keep it holy.

5. Honor Ronald Reagan as thy father and Nancy as thy mother: that thy days may be long.

6. Thou shalt not kill public works projects named after Ronald Reagan.

7. Thou shalt not get caught committing adultery as that would embarrass the party of Ronald Reagan.

8. Thou shalt not steal Ronald Reagan’s political slogans except when giving full credit to the Great Communicator.

9. Thou shalt not bear false witness against Ronald Reagan.

10. Thou shalt not covet Ronald Reagan’s ranch in Santa Barbara nor his presidential library in Simi Valley; thou shalt certainly not covet Ronald Reagan’s wife, nor his ex-wife, nor his daughters, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is a part of Ronald Reagan’s most venerated heritage.


Posted in Humor on March 31st, 2008

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If you want to find criticism of our government here in America, you won’t need to look far. When it comes to politics, it seems that everyone has a grievance. Radical Avenue on the other hand, takes a solutions oriented approach to public policy. It’s radical because I’m proposing fundamental changes to the structure of our government, like transferring commander in chief responsibilities to a small elected group. My philosophy is: Everyone knows we’ve got problems, so what are we going to do about it?

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