The Lasting Wounds of Domestic Violence
October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and the bloggers of 451 Press have banded together to highlight the problem. Violence at home leaves scars that last a lifetime. Kids raised in an abusive environment have nowhere to turn. They don’t have the physical or mental strength to fight back effectively. They can’t leave home and make it on their own. Other family members are typically powerless to end the abuse, and may not even be aware of it. So kids just curl up in a ball and take it. They are left to wonder why no one was there to protect them in their time of need. These children become ticking time bombs. And when the bomb explodes, more innocent people get hurt.
Violence begets violence. Children will come to associate brutality with reward if that’s what they learn at home. Our society could do a much better job of seeking out at risk kids and quickly getting them the help they need to live normal productive lives. Kids aren’t natural born killers. If they are acting out in violent ways at an early age, it’s a clear indication that something is seriously wrong. Juvenile delinquency programs should be a priority, not an afterthought.
One of the most egregious forms of abuse is also one of the most difficult to discuss: sexual exploitation. We don’t hear about it on the news much except when a particularly gruesome case comes along and then we hear about nothing else for weeks on end. This gives us a distorted picture, and feeds the stereotype of sexual abuse as a relatively uncommon problem carried out by strangers. Nothing could be further from the truth. Most sexual abuse victims know their attackers and are often related to them. News organizations that focus incessantly on the salacious aspects of one case without referencing the larger problem are also engaged in exploitation. It’s disgraceful.
Please have a look at Jean Lockwood’s tips for creating a violence free home zone. Also, Margie Alsbrook has an interesting discussion of the problems with violence on TV. Here is a list of 451 Press blogs discussing the problem of domestic violence:
Her Daily News
About San Jose, CA
Home Computer Talk
Earthly Garden
Watching Bionic Woman
Watching Battlestar Gallactica
Limited Edition Foods
1P Start
Astrology Explored
About Honolulu, HI
Parenting and Religion
Marital Talk
This topic has generated a lot of discussion at 451 Press and we will continue to write about it in the weeks ahead.
Here are links to organizations working to protect at risk children: International Center for Missing and Exploited Children, Stand Up for Kids and The Safe Side.
domestic violence, child abuse, sexual abuse, abuse victims, sexual exploitation, juvenile delinquency
October 2nd, 2007 at 11:22 pm
[...] For further reading on Domestic Violence Awareness Month, Bob Betzen of Radical Avenue talks about The Lasting Wounds of Domestic Violence. [...]
October 3rd, 2007 at 8:15 am
[...] As a mom, it is my job to make sure that when my kids go to visit friends, they are going to a safe place. I have been known to call parents and ask to meet them (much to the embarrasment of teens) before I would allow my kids to go to the house of a friend. Most often, this is received wellby parents. They understand and are more than willing to meet with me. There have been a couple of times when I have had to say no. This is very hard to do, but when I know there are things going on in the home that could potentially harm my children, or expose them to things they should be innocent of- I can’t let them be in that environment. I always welcome their friends here- and to my astonishment, usually their friends are allowed to come here without their parents ever meeting, or even talking to me on the phone. Some people assume that because we are in ministry, that their kids are safe here- and they are- but my point is that even in Christian families, there is often abuse. One of my best friends when I was a young child, was being sexually assulted by her father, and I never knew it until we were adults. I spent a lot of time with her family. My parents knew them, and never suspected anything wrong either. They were Christians, attended church, and the mom was active in ministry. It turns out that they were very abusive, and the scars have lasted- the scars of abuse in children are carried into adulthood- making it more probable that they will also either be abusers, or be abused as adults. So this mom prays. I pray for my kids when they are not with me- that they will be safe and not harmed in any way. I pray for the families of their friends- that they will be drawn to the Lord if they don’t know Him, and that their homes will be a havens of peace. I also don’t trust anyone easily. Knowing I was there, and didn’t know of the abuse makes me less trusting. Less trusting of my own judgement, and of myown sensitivity to those in pain. If I didn’t know my best friend was hurting- how do I know I would recognize it now? I need to keep praying. Bob Betzen, author of the “Radical Avenue” blog, has a very good article up about how the effects of domestic violence last;The Lasting Effects of Domestic Violence. [...]
October 3rd, 2007 at 2:02 pm
You are unfortunately correct about sexual exploitation … it is a horrific and much more common than people realize. KD on WatchingCSI has a post up about CSI’s partnership with CASA, an organization that works with children who are trying to become survivors of these nightmarish experiences.
October 3rd, 2007 at 5:20 pm
[...] Betzen has so succinctly (I like to use words that start with “suc”…) acknowledges, October is indeed Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Busy month, this is. It’s not just [...]
October 3rd, 2007 at 11:49 pm
[...] plenty of opportunity for positive change and that’s why I talk about it. Also, as I’ve mentioned, October is Domestic Violence Awareness month and the bloggers of 451 Press have been writing [...]
October 17th, 2007 at 5:24 am
[...] more proactive approach is needed. Focusing on eliminating domestic violence would be a good start. Kids learn from their parents. Parents who resolve their disputes by [...]
October 19th, 2007 at 4:37 am
[...] and is especially critical of bullying men. Let’s face it. Men are usually the perpetrators of domestic abuse. Dr. Phil deals with the problem directly in what he calls “man camp”. The guys who show up for [...]
November 2nd, 2007 at 10:16 am
[...] make them less human and as often as not these young women get there by having suffered domestic violence growing up. I suspect that the judge had a much luckier [...]