Site Meter Radical Avenue » Blog Archive » Those Crazy Republicans

Those Crazy Republicans

by Bob Betzen

King_kong_filmposter_1933_1.jpgMitt Romney’s victory in Michigan has turned the Republican presidential race into a wide open affair, with three different candidates having now won a state. If Fred Thompson surges in South Carolina and Rudy Giuliani’s lead holds up in Florida, all bets are off. A last minute candidate could jump right in and steal the nomination. Here are some possibilities, in no particular order.

Condoleezza Rice
For months now, the Democrats have droned on and on about how their party is about to make history by nominating either an African American or a woman. As an African American woman, Secretary of State Rice would bring a doubly historic presence to the race. Besides, Ms. Rice had a tough talk with al Maliki in Iraq while her boss was kicking in Kuwait last week. And she already has the keys to the Oval Office.

Chuck Norris
Walker, Texas Ranger has been propping up Mike Huckabee’s campaign for months now, and it’s Chuck’s turn to take the reins. Norris would fix the big mess in Washington by opening up a few cans of whoopass. He’d also make history as the first bearded President in over a hundred years.

King Kong
The Big Ape knows how to watch over New York City. As the name suggests, King Kong has experience as a Supreme Ruler of the land, and wouldn’t let Congress chain him down. Kong hopes that voters will overlook his past run-ins with the law, and instead focus on his economic policies. As the first President of species Megaprimatus kong, King’s election would turn the page on a new chapter in our country’s history.

Dick Cheney
It’s time for the Wizard to step out from behind the curtain. Hey, we talked him out of retirement once when he took over Halliburton, running the country shouldn’t be any more difficult.

Jimmy Johnson/Jimmie Johnson
Pair the former NFL coach with the 2007 Nextel Cup Champion, and you’ve got a dynamic duo. Nascar dads and football moms would have plenty of time to vote because the election’s on a Tuesday.

Seabiscuit
Every race needs a scrappy dark horse candidate.

, , , , , , , , , ,


Posted in Humor on January 19th, 2008

Link to this Entry

Recent Posts

Related Posts

Leave a Reply


About Radical Avenue

If you want to find criticism of our government here in America, you won’t need to look far. When it comes to politics, it seems that everyone has a grievance. Radical Avenue on the other hand, takes a solutions oriented approach to public policy. It’s radical because I’m proposing fundamental changes to the structure of our government, like transferring commander in chief responsibilities to a small elected group. My philosophy is: Everyone knows we’ve got problems, so what are we going to do about it?

Radical Avenue Author(s)
    » Bob-Betzen

NAVIGATE

LINKS

CATEGORIES

TOP COMMENTERS

RECENT COMMENTS

SUBSCRIBE

ARCHIVES

Blogging Flair

 

Politics & News Channel Posts

  • One More Silver Dollar
    If you can read this you're too close ... and legally blind Government officials announced today that the U.S. Mint will soon produce a new silver dollar commemorating the birth of Louis Braille [...]
  • Democracy No Panacea
    American politicians like to promote democracy as a polished gemstone behind a plate glass window at the jewelry store, rather than as a diamond in the rough still encrusted in stone. A country's [...]
  • George Carlin Dies
    - Fuck. - George Carlin, 1937-2008 - [...]
  • Diplomatic Circles
    Even the dark cloud over US foreign policy left behind by the Bush administration has a silver lining. Other countries now know that they can't count on America for political leadership, so they've [...]
  • I, Love Robot
    Sexy...in a Power Rangers kind of way... Not content with dominating the world auto market, the Japanese robotic industry is now working to make American women smaller, quieter and more fuel [...]
  • Gloomy Guantanamo Bay
    King Henry VIII had the Tower of London. Nikita Khrushchev had the Gulags of Siberia. Guantanamo Bay seems to be George Bush's barbaric detention center of choice. During previous conflicts, [...]
  • Fans Call Foul on the NBA
    The National Basketball Association has a credibility problem. At some point in the last twenty years, the NBA morphed into a launching pad for young athletes building a following through ESPN [...]
  • Got Gas?
    Photo: news.nationalgeographic.com I have been getting several responses to my previous blog on Exxon tax payments in which I said “we do not tax their absurd profits.” I was not being [...]
  • Bob Hope Knows Democrats
    Bob has them dead to rights... Hard to believe they have actually gotten worse since Hope delivered this quip. [...]
  • We give tax breaks to oil companies, but not renewable energy companies
    Yesterday Senate Republicans blocked the vote of a bill that would tax the windfall profits of oil companies as well as end their tax breaks. The Republicans said that we need to focus on more [...]

 

Hot Off The Press

  • Find Wii Fit for Sale Online
    Are you like me and have been desperately trying to find Wii Fit in stock? Sure, you could pay twice as much as retail and buy it on eBay or Amazon. That option just isn't very appealing and [...]
  • Weekly Forecast: View To A Kill
    (Hint: Play song and read at the same time!) Mystery, intrigue and dances in the fire, or a least a little snarkiness, are the keynotes of this dramatic week as the planet of secrets, Pluto, [...]
  • Some Summer Music Pics from Five Magazine
    That's this SUNDAY in TAOS....go camping too. Brave Combo Nearly thirty years ago, someone classifi ed Denton, Texas’ Brave Combo as a new wave polka band, which they are. Th ey even won [...]
  • News from Five Magazine
    At last! Let's see how far I get. www.readfive.comThis summer in Taos Joan Armitrading will perform. Here an interview by Bill Nevins with Joan A. “Under the surface there was always a [...]
  • Not food history
    This week I'm trying some experiments with heart and goat mince. Not together, you understand. And also not historical. The 'not historical' in important. Too often people tell me that they [...]
  • Love Question Nine
    Woo hoo! I’m glad to be back and doing the Love Questions meme from Short Sweet Love Poems. I do enjoy the questions and reading the thoughts of others. This week we have a very interesting, [...]
  • Rihanna’s fashion totally confuses me
    It would probably take us into a nervous breakdown if we would see our favorite stars in their not-so-good looks. But then again, since I’m not a fan of Rihanna, I don’t exactly know what to [...]
  • Summer Iowa Games, through 6 p.m....
    Through 6 p.m.free (888) 777-8881 [...]
  • Fruits of the Spirit: Be kind to each other
    But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23 Kindness is [...]
  • Idol Teachers
    I just watched a video clip. It was from the pilot episode of a potential new sitcom called Teachers. The pilot seems to revolve around the life of a young, fresh-faced teacher named Tim Donnely, [...]